That. Silhouette. The determined attack pose. The intense, fierce gaze. The dramatic composition and negative space. Utterly powerful and stunning.
Sexiest head-butt in history.
how is he so sexy ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!! I CANT EVEN!
these two in the same post = OVARIES BLOWN.
will i get shot for daring to put such two different men in the same post? maybe…
if i do, will i die a happy girl?…..YES
I DIG ‘EM BOTH.
My fruitful bounty I just picked from seven-eleven. We are the hunter gatherers. I look really good. I wore this get up outside in the end of November. Public safety told me to put on pants. I regret nothing.
TELL US WE’RE PRETTY.
Cue the loss of followers.
Andrew Garfield mullet appreciation post
Hey. Hey look.
It’s the guy I’m gonna marry.
Ignore my vom face and man arm, and you get THIS EPICNESS.
I have a video of me giving him the picture and then him posing, and from that angle he looks exactly like the original picture I drew. It’s great. Videos are failing for me right now though, so stay put for that later.
BANGED MET PATRICK STUMP.
WHAT IS MY LIFE?
Prepare to read a
book excessively long blog.
First of all I was extremely lucky and blessed because Scarlet Estelle let me sit at her table which was RIGHT UP AT THE FRONT OF THE STAGE. Like it was literally next to me. I could’ve set my bag there had I wanted to. Had we not talked beforehand and had she not been so friendly and nice enough to let me sit with her and the other 2 she was with, I would’ve had to stand at the back near the bar with everyone else. Which is what I’m gonna do tomorrow night but it doesn’t matter. Tonight was awesome.
You have to understand how excited I was for this show. I had recently been indulging in my relatively new Patrick obsession and when I found out he was doing not one, not two, but THREE shows in NYC I about died. And then when the website said “Sold Out” for all three I actually died. But the week of the show I checked the website like a crazy lady and one day BOOM two days weren’t sold out and BOOM I was brought back to life and BOOM I had suddenly bought myself tickets for two shows. I’m a broke college student. My bank account is crying, but I don’t care. Anyway, I listened to his EP ALL week. I started drawing him. I’m thinking about giving it to him tomorrow. I’ll see. But when I finally got there… mannnnn was I excited. thin!Patrick is DELICIOUS.
The amount of times I died tonight is ridiculous.
1. When I saw Patrick behind the little curtain that leads to backstage. It was like, OMFG HE’S REALLY RIGHT THERE OMG.
2. When Patrick actually came out to the stage. Then I was like, OMG PATRICK FREAKING STUMP IS A FEW FEET AWAY FROM ME OMFG WHAT DO I DO OMFG HE LOOKS DELICIOUS JUST AS I THOUGHT OMFG WHAT HAPPENED TO THE AIR???
4. When he came over to my side of the stage to wipe the sweat off his face. He was right in front of me, so I
awkwardly tried to speak but it didn’t really work said “Wanna give me a high five?” He probably just heard the “hi” part because he looked up, looked AT ME, smiled, did the “wuddup” nod, and said “hey.” What is life?????!?!!?!!?
Did I mention jizz?
After an incredible show, me and the 3 I was with went to the lobby to wait for him. I saw him through the doorway at the end of a room and already started jizzing again. Then he came out. He was all cleaned up, changed, and freaking adorable. I was like. holy crap. He’s right there. Omg. And I was like the 3 along the little rope they had set up. So I was standing there in awe, probably drooling while he dealt with the first two people. then he came to me and who knows what happened. I forget words, I don’t know what life is, so I mumbled something about how I’m The_Carrot on Twitter and then whipped out the carrot pen I bought for him (and I had scribbled my number on it, classy lady that I am) and shoved it in his hands and he was somewhat amused and probably confused (do you see this long-ass run-on sentence? I impress myself sometimes.) and asked if it was a magnet and I was like “
omgIdon’tknowwhatwordsarebutwillyougetinmyalready? yeah, and it’s also a pen” and then I asked if I could get a picture and he was like probably like “yeeuh, but only if we’re nekkid because dayum gurl ur hawt and i wanna get witchu all nite lawngggg” but in reality he was like “of course” or something and then I attempted to take a picture but forgot how to smile and forgot how to use my arms so of course I was Michael J. Fox’ing it up shaking up a storm and took a blurry picture in which my face looks distorted (but I guess that’s normal).
He was extremely nice though. He’s like a shy, awkward person. Oh, btw, I had it built up in my mind that when I met him I was gonna be a sly fox and be all seductive and be like, “oh, are you doing anything in NYC tonight? Going anywhere? I can take you out. Lemme buy you a DRANKKK. (also let’s bang afterward) Here’s my number craftily written on this utensil which signifies me as my internet persona so you’ll remember me forever so we can totes hook up when you’re around in the future wink winkity winkwink.” But obviously that didn’t happen, because I’m a shy and awkward person irl too. So I did manage to ask if he was doing anything that night, living it up in NYC or something like that, and (I think) he said no, probably not, he had to rest his throat. Then he said something about how he wasn’t going to talk anymore to save his voice for tomorrow night, and from then on he was a mute. When he had to actually say something he whipped out his
CrackBlackberry and typed it out. It was ridiculously cute. Anyway, when it seemed like I was done pretending to say real words, he put his arms out for a hug. He’s the cutest most polite thing in the world. I hugged him and I smiled like an idiot for the entirety of our encounter and then he moved on to the next people. I continued to stare in disbelief that he was actually there and hanging out until the security people were like “if you already had your turn, please step out this way.” So I did and then went back in and met up with my buds again. I got a Soul Punk shirt. I was caught up at the moment because I now distinctly remember almost buying the same shirt online for significantly cheaper. Whatever. I like it.
While he talked to the rest of the crowd I saw the guitarist and went over to him. I asked if he could sign my set list (oh yeah, I forgot, after I gave Patrick the carrot pen I got him to sign my set list too) so he asked for my name first, wrote that, then wrote “Thanks…” and signed his initials as he explained them to me. I think I might’ve said something about how it was a great show, and that I was coming back tomorrow. He said it was gonna be an important day, I asked why, and he said the press was gonna be there. At some point, I don’t remember when, he pointed at my necklace and said he liked it. He was totes into me. Obvo. I’m gonna use that to my advantage tomorrow. I’m
totally not half kidding. Got a pic with him, I think I look the best in this one.
I tracked down the bassist (who was RIGHT next to me the entire show and I was looking up his nose anytime I looked at him) and got him to sign my setlist and got a pic with him too. Two pics, actually, cause I failed the first one vvv. He’s dayum fine.
Analways, after all that, most people filtered out and it ended up being me and my 3 buds, a couple other girls that knew Scarlet, and just a few other random people. Patrick was down to hang out. We took some more random pics with him, talked about stuff (meaning they mainly talked while I was still trying out how to form words and stop the drool) and dicked around. At one point I was a real person and asked if he was having any shows in Germany. He whipped out his Blackberry and wrote “Koln.” I rambled/mumbled something about how I know where that is and I live in southern Germany. He seemed somewhat interested. Who knows. Did he even understand what I was saying? Whatever. Eventually they all left and he waved goodbye. I couldn’t believe my life. Still can’t. What is my life?
And I can’t friggin wait to do it all over again tomorrow.